“A” for effort, no?

December 21st, 2009 - 

December 20 New person.
I have given this question some thought, and I don’t think I appreciated Alec Baldwin nearly enough until 2009.

December 21 Project. What did you start this year that you’re proud of?
The honest answer and the interesting answer aren’t the same. In fact, an interesting answer to this question might not even exist, so I’m just going to be honest and as brief as possible, for you guys’ sake. My favorite project I’ve started this year is, well, work-related (groan) — basically displaying 3D complete representations of our custom products, synchronized with all of our other editors, and allowing parts to be moved, added, deleted, and what-have-you. But the really fun part is that you can spin it around really fast, or zoom in and out by clicking on the parts you want to see. I like projects that provide easy amusement during down-time.

I know it’s been minimal effort lately. Tomorrow is back-to-work day for me, which I’m looking forward to. My beloved Abby has left me for Ohio, and I have been sleeping in her bed while she is away (my room is being loaned to the family of my other lovely roommates while they are in town). It feels like everybody is traveling for the holidays this year. Not me. I’ll be right here. Behind Abby’s curtain-wall. Until 2010, at least.

Mandy and I made dozens and dozens of cookies today — four different kinds. I’m thinking it should become a pre-Christmas tradition, because it was lots of fun.

Listening: Radiohead – Videotape

Good idea

December 20th, 2009 - 

December 17 Word or phrase.
“Good idea; good idea.” – Wendy Coad

December 18 Shop.
The Blue Magnolia in Augusta, Georgia. This isn’t my all-time-favorite “stuff” shop, but it’s my favorite discovered this year. If I could afford / get away with it, I would do 100% of my gift-shopping at places like this. (Other favorites are “Helix” and “Frontier”, both in Athens.) My favorite finds at the Blue Magnolia: Matchstick Gardens and Fomato cards. (So funny!)

December 19 Car ride. What did you see? How did it smell? Did you eat anything as you drove there? Who were you with?
Driving to Chicago, August 2009
Abby and I took a road trip in August, first to Chicago to visit some friends of hers and to enjoy the city, and then to Ohio to visit her family. There were a lot of smells, really, between gasoline, Tennessee, and all of the food we took along (I remember a bag of spinach, Bulgur Wheat Salad, baby carrots, Vietnamese iced coffee, and several pounds of fresh cherries. Mmm! Abby and I always have fun together so I loved the drive as much as the destinations, I think.

I miss winter just because

December 17th, 2009 - 

December 14 Rush. When did you get your best rush of the year?
Train from London Gatwick to Winchester, via Clapham Junction, in March. I was listening to Slingshot Dakota. Lots of good memories, by way of familiar buildings and feelings and sounds and smells. It was a good rush.

December 15 Best packaging.
You know, when it comes to commercial packaging, I’m such a fan of super-clean modern packaging — bold blocks of color, strong white sans-serifs fonts, and cautious use of images or photos. Simple packaging always catches my eye. That being said, I haven’t found much of anything that really fits that bill in 2009. What I have been impressed with, however, is the packaging of every item I’ve ordered from Etsy this year. There’s something really exciting about handmade packaging with a DIY feel to it, whether it’s an item wrapped in tissue paper and string, or carefully placed in a hand-painted cardboard box tied with ribbon and stamped with a URL, I love thinking that I’ve received an item so personal that even the envelope was personally and individually considered.

December 16 Tea of the year. I can taste my favorite tea right now. What’s yours?
I definitely go through phases with teas. In general, as with most things, I prefer darker / stronger teas to lighter ones. Black and red teas are my favorites (Rooibos / bush teas, earl greys, assam, etc.), but just this past month or so, I’ve been really enjoying green teas. I recently signed up for Alice.com, which is a pretty interesting grocery / household shopping business startup which allows you to customize a shopping list with your favorite / standard products and order them. Shipping is free, prices are comparable to my local Food LIon, and they automatically apply coupons. It’s honestly pretty nifty — they remind you when they think you’re about to run out of something, and occasionally throw in some free samples based upon what you order. I’m usually a last-minute shopper with everything, toothpaste included, but it’s a great idea for people who live in cities or have busy lives that make frequent last-minute grocery trips impractical, and who doesn’t like samples? One such free sample I received with my first order was an entire sampler of Dilmah Ceylon Green Tea (I had ordered a box of Stash Earl Grey). This was shortly before the onset of a sinus infection, during which fresh green tea proved invaluable for many reasons, but aside from that, I’ve really enjoyed having this lighter tea available. It has a really fresh and crisp flavor to it, and I can drink two or three cups in a row at work without feeling jittery or ill.

Sorry, guys. No photos and very little inspiration with this one. In other news, this is the first time in a very long time I’ve been awake at two am. So forgive me.

This week hasn’t been as stressful as I expected. I’m learning how to be still sometimes.

Listening to: Jaymay – Sea Green, See Blue (Troy’s wonderful find, twice now.)

Best of 2009 – food and flowers

December 14th, 2009 - 

December 12 New food.
Pho Noodleville in Greenville — on Orchard Park Drive across from The Channel. Photo by Beau R. (http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=htlskhshX5r3bQcKSY6flg)Abby introduced me to this little place early this year, and we have both taken every opportunity to eat here since. It’s Vietnamese, which I’ve never tried much before, and they use fresh ingredients with no MSG. I tried the Pho (a unique broth soup with rice noodles and a meat. It’s so delightful that I haven’t felt the need to try anything else since. The service is sometimes a little casual, so we try to go when we aren’t in a hurry, but it’s rarely ever packed, and a pretty cheap place to eat.

Summer 2009 - photo by Amy LockabyDecember 13 What’s the best change you made to the place you live?
I don’t think a place can really feel like home until you’ve established some greenery. (Color doesn’t hurt, either.) In the summer of 2008 I was overwhelmingly fascinated by zinnias, which were being sold by the bucket at farmer’s markets in Greenville and Athens. I decided to plant some myself this year. It’s a project that could have gone better, but there’s always next year.

So there’s only so much to be said for having a near-airtight plan. No matter how many calls, reservations, and print-outs I make, sometimes things just come up that can’t be worked around, and it’s a pretty disappointing lesson to learn. I’m not on my way to the Grand Canyon right now, but hey. I still have the week off of work, and virtually limitless possibility. I didn’t go anywhere exciting today (though for a while I entertained the idea of driving very far north, Montreal possibly), but I did make an appointment to start volunteering in 2010, as well as research some family vacation cabins. It’s good to take it slow sometimes, I’m told, and maybe if I practice, that might start to make sense to me.

Listening to: Yeasayer – Ambling Alp (okay, the video’s weird, but I love this song)

Best of 2009 – OK Coffee and other nice finds

December 11th, 2009 - 

December 7 Blog find of the year. That gem of a blog you can’t believe you didn’t know about until this year.
Late to the game as usual, I finally found Design*Sponge, which is a great blog to read if you: (A) have tons of spare time and never have enough artsy projects with which to fill the void, or (B) never have time, but enjoy the slightly-inspiring but mostly-depressing and guilt-filled feelings that come with seeing what other creative and productive people are doing with their time. I am blessed at least occasionally to fall into the former category (making up for the rest of the time I spend amongst group B), so when I found this, it made a pretty short list of blogs I have time to read anymore.

December 8 Moment of peace. An hour or a day or a week of solitude.
Edisto Beach, SC In October, somewhat on a whim (and also on a bit of a high after buying a car with a hatchback which allows for in-car tent-free camping), I decided to take a solo trip to Edisto beach, and camp in my car at the state park. During the planning, I was admittedly a bit paranoid about seeming flighty, irrational, or delinquent, since solo vacations aren’t exactly the norm in my sphere of experience, but I really felt like some time to myself, so I planned it anyway. It was probably the most spiritually refreshing couple of days I’ve had this year. Edisto is my favorite beach spot, because even during the summer, it stays pretty laid back and sparse, so when I got up early on Saturday morning to see the beach, I enjoyed almost complete seclusion. For a while after this trip, I entertained delusions of becoming a car hobo — picking a handful of clothes and possessions which would comfortably fit in a backseat, and freeing myself from the burdens of rent payment and singular-location living forever. Think of the adventures I could have, driving to a new destination whenever I felt like it! Oh, what an exotic dream it was.

December 9 Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year.
I’m hoping that hiking the Grand Canyon will count for this. If, due to blizzards and icy trails, it doesn’t come to pass, then surely driving across the entire country virtually non-stop will count?

December 10 Album of the year. What’s rocking your world?
Wow. While doing the prep-work for this question (sorting my iTunes library by release year to see what counts as 2009 and what doesn’t), I realized how many 2009 albums I have that I haven’t listened to more than once or twice, and some not at all! I’ve gotten dreadfully behind. That being said, of the 2009 albums I have listened to, I’ve got a very long list of runners-up: Beirut – Realpeople Holland EP (nothing brings back such incredible memories of PBS specials than the this), Grizzly Bear – Veckatimest (admittedly I’m in it for only a handful of songs), Rhett Miller – Rhett Miller (so catchy I can’t resist), and The Swell Season – Strict Joy (the couple from the “Once” film / soundtrack — a current staple in my car), Ben Kweller – Changing Horses (very alt-country in the most amazing sort of way), and Yeah Yeah Yeahs – It’s Blitz (didn’t think I’d like it, but I love it). With the award going to (why don’t I get my own awards show, anyway?) Andrew Bird – Noble Beast. With music, I’ve more or less resigned myself to the fact that I will never like a band’s newer albums as much as their older ones (or the one that first got me hooked), but Andrew Bird just seems to get better every time, and I love him for that.

December 11 The best place. A coffee shop? A pub? A retreat center? A cubicle? A nook?
Cubicle? Really? Eesh. Nope. I guess last year is technically when I discovered the “best place”, but it carried over into 2009 as well, so maybe it counts. I love taking day trips to Athens, Georgia. It’s full of my favorite little shops, restaurants, and coffee places. Around the corner from Wuxtry records on Clayton, there’s a little coffee booth called “OK Coffee,” and next to it is a tiny nook with a couple of booths and a lot of posters, sort of tacked on to the end of the record store. I love it because if it’s raining (or even if it’s not), I can buy a cup of coffee and sit down, more or less unnoticed, and watch people go by. The coffee is Jittery Joe’s, and their organic Peruvian is almost unreasonably good.

——-

It’s officially Friday, and I’m taking the entire next week off for a West coast road trip adventure. The original plan was to hike the Grand Canyon, and it’s technically the current plan as well, but we might have to adapt, given the unexpected blizzard. Current alternative destinations include (but are not limited to) California, Vegas, Mexico, Tombstone, Santa Fe, Boulder, anywhere in Texas, Florida, and New Orleans.

listening to: Hanson’s Christmas CD

Books, pubs, gyms, canyons, and kittens.

December 6th, 2009 - 

(I’ve started Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 Blog Challenge — read more about it here or scroll down to find my first challenge post.)

December 4 Book. What book – fiction or non – touched you?
I’m the first to admit that I don’t read as much as I want to — probably less than a dozen books this year. Standouts were Getting Things Done for organization and productivity, Crazy Love for faith-related, and The Plague for classics-I-should-have-read-sooner. I have made a pointed (and very rewarded) effort to read my Bible more this past year, and of course it’s been the all-around most meaningful of the year. I think that I’m finally learning the meaning of a “living” Word of God. But since I didn’t make it through the whole thing this year (I tried, but hey), I’m also going to mention Naive. Super by Erlend Loe. It’s a short little fiction book, a beautiful sort of character profile novel, and it broke my heart. I’ve been told that I let books and movies break my heart too easily, and that this is actually a humorous tale of finding hope in life. Maybe so, but I cried a lot at the end.

December 5 Night out. Did you have a night out with friends or a loved one that rocked your world? Who was there? What was the highlight of the night?
Easy. March 10th. Reunited with wonderful friends in Winchester. Just like old times, we went to the County Arms for drinks, games, and karaoke. Liverpool played Madrid on one screen (Liverpool won), and the Milan vs. Juventus on the other. I think they tied. Carol and I did not sing karaoke. Anthony and Giorgio did.


Carol, Amy, Anthony, and Giorgio
Carol, Amy, Anthony and Giorgio

December 6 Workshop or conference. Was there a conference or workshop you attended that was especially beneficial? Where was it? What did you learn?
Aaaand here’s where I start to twist the questions. Outside of work meetings and training sessions, details of which luckily for you aren’t going to make their way here, I haven’t really attended anything which might count as a conference. However, one of my New Year’s resolutions this year was to become more confident doing things on my own — attending group events on my own, eating in a restaurant on my own, taking a vacation on my own. Most of my life, I’ve had family and friends around me, and doing things alone just isn’t something I’m used to or comfortable with. But there is only so long a person can go avoiding wonderful opportunity just because of a little self-consciousness. So in late June, I joined the gym and made myself start attending the morning group classes. Sounds pretty lame for a “bold and confident start”, yes, but it was really challenging for me to walk into a group of people as the “new person” and make myself participate and be comfortable. And let me just say — if you ever decide to venture into a new and scary social situation, don’t try it at 5:30 on a Monday morning.

———-

Our Grand Canyon trip starts exactly one week from tonight. I’m both excited and nervous, but today I finally sat down, got my lists up-to-date, and put some action items to the stressful ball of “what-should-I-be-doing” floating around in my head. My biggest concern right now is the weather. Currently, there is literally a blizzard in the mountains of Arizona, with 40mph winds and lots of snow accumulation. It’s supposed to clear this week, and start up again next weekend. We’re scheduled to hike down next Wednesday. The winter weather is never as treacherous inside the canyon, where it’s consistently about 20 degrees warmer and freezing rain is about the worst to expect, but our hike begins and ends at almost 7000 feet above sea level, which means we’re pretty likely to encounter a lot of snow and ice. For the North Rim of the canyon, which closes after the first snow in early December, this is standard fare, but it isn’t typical for the South Rim (where we’re hiking from) in December, so we didn’t really expect this at all. We aren’t going to do the hike if the weather is too bad and are looking at some backup plans, but we would love prayers for good weather and a safe and adventurous trip.

I have been practicing earlier bedtimes, with varying degrees of success, depending on the week. I aim for ten if I’m getting up for the gym, and eleven otherwise. Tonight I’ve already lost. It’s more difficult than I expected.

And as Abby mentioned, we (or I, technically) have taken in a cat. I feel like somewhat of a hypocrite, since all year I’ve been good about not feeding the strays. We technically aren’t allowed to have pets here, due to pretty negligent previous owners. So I blame my sudden change of heart on last week’s sinus infection, which found me at home, curled up on the sofa with tons of hot tea, congestion, a mild fever and an overdue performance evaluation for work. It isn’t a condition which caters to reason and logic, and when the kitten came begging at the window, I let her in, gave her food, and named her Sylvie. By the time I came to my senses, I’d already purchased the litter box and food dish. Too late to turn back now. She’s already destroyed a bedspread, four vintage Christmas tree ornaments, plenty of tinsel, and a section of flesh about a quarter of an inch long on my thumb. I really do love her, and kittens in general, but didn’t expect this much stress. I hope she calms down some. I am very grateful for my roommates’ gracious acceptance and endurance.

Listening to: Tom Waits – World Keeps Turning

Best of 2009

December 4th, 2009 - 

The Best of 2009 Blog Challenge.

Three of the reasons I want to take part in this challenge:
A) I’m making it a personal goal to write more often — not necessarily to blog more often, but just to write more in general. But when I have this digital canvas just sort of sitting here, waiting… what an opportunity to embrace!
B) This is going to be fun. It sort of reminds me of the old Friday Five (fellow 2003 bloggers — remember those?). There is a sort of instant motivation that comes from having writing cues, and considering that so far, I’ve given you (millions of) SuperAmy.com readers all of twelve blog posts (record low?!) so far in 2009, a nice yearly overview couldn’t exactly hurt.
C) I think that 2009 really has been a great year, and I find that the more good things I think about and remember, the more positive I am on a daily basis. So here goes.

Already, I’m a few days behind. Already, I love this project because it’s very forgiving of people who are a few days behind (or don’t want to answer all of the questions, or want to twist the questions into something else, or want to answer all 31 at once), which I perpetually will be, but I hope to answer all of them.

December 1 Trip. What was your best trip in 2009?
As tempting as it is to talk about my return trip to Winchester, which reunited me with some amazing friends, or my cavorting about Galway with my sister, and I think those excursions might technically count as my best trip in 2009. But I want to talk about my most memorable trip in 2009, the one that kicked off my year to a great start: New Orleans. It was a road trip south, along with brother Corey and dear Hannah, and started with a New Year’s Eve celebration in Mobile, Alabama — the one and only epic Moon Pie Over Mobile event — before we finished out the drive to Louisiana. My experience has been that everyone who visits New Orleans leaves with a pretty strong opinion either for or against it. My entire life, I’ve always been fascinated with cities that have such a distinct individual culture. In such a big country, where people often move between several states in their lifetimes, it’s easy to find different cultures in different regions of the country, or even certain states, but it seems increasingly rare to find a single city where such a concentrated and unique personality still remains. I would read about New Orleans, or see people taking trips there on the Food Network channel or some such, and it seemed almost as if it were a different country. I love that! So all of that to say, I had pretty high expectations going into this trip, and having heard how much of the history Katrina wiped out, I was a little nervous about being let down.

I had the most wonderful companions ever — Hannah and Corey are both so awesome to travel with! Laid back and up for anything, with no agendas or requirements, we basically set ourselves up for tons of adventure and no room for disappointment. Both of them are super-thrifty to a fault, much like me, so we stayed at only the finest of super-budget damp motel accommodations, and ate at only the most authentic of cheap New Orleans dive eateries. I absolutely love New Orleans. It is a city that feels different — a little spooky, a little blue, but easy to love. I have so many delightful memories of that trip. We ate lunch with complete strangers just to get seats at a Cajun restaurant in the French Quarter.
Photo courtesy of erewhon http://www.flickr.com/photos/99982977@N00/541863372We had extremely late-night beignets at the Morning Call Coffee Stand in Metairie. We canvassed St. Peter street end to end several times, beneath the nighttime deluge of an ankle-deep mini-flood of our own, looking for Preservation Hall (which we eventually found, and despite being soaked, enjoyed the incredible legendary Preservation Hall Jazz Band). at Preservation Hall, New Orleans, January 2009 Honestly, I think this counts as one of the top most memorable trips of my lifetime — it couldn’t have felt any more like I wanted New Orleans to feel. I think it’s rare for a trip to so delightfully meet all of your expectations (especially when they are as high as mine tend to be), so that makes this my most memorable trip of 2009.

December 2 Restaurant moment. Share the best restaurant experience you had this year. Who was there? What made it amazing? What taste stands out in your mind?
Mellow Mushroom with my Best Mexican, Wendy. Everything about it was amazing. We ordered a custom pizza — spinach, avocado, sun-dried tomatoes, extra cheese, and mushrooms on my half. It was probably the best pizza either of us have eaten in our entire lives.

December 3 Article. What’s an article that you read that blew you away?
I don’t read a ton of articles really, at least not beyond news and basic interesting reads — nothing that would “blow me away” so to speak. Probably the most fascinating reads for me have been the articles found through the Compassion Twitter feed — specifically from bloggers’ trips to visit Compassion centers across the world and interact with the children. The more I read about this ministry, the more I love what they’re doing. I love hearing about all of the hope found in the children’s centers where Compassion is working. I currently sponsor two boys (Tipu from Bangladesh, and Hemanand from India), and love reading their letters and hearing about the difference God is making in their lives. I’d love to make it over to visit them some day, but until then I’m more than inspired to read the accounts of those who have traveled with this ministry. (If you’d like to sponsor a child, I’m making it oh-so-easy for you with this handy new Compassion widget on the right sidebar.)

I don’t think I can handle a fourth tonight, so maybe I’ll tackle December 4th in the next batch.

Listening to: Phoenix – Armistice (thanks, Abby!)

stars in the universe

November 11th, 2009 - 

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe. -Philippians 2:14-15

I love this verse. I love the idea that a positive, joyful spirit can do so much to make us stand out as “children of God.” I want to shine like a star in the universe. I want to make more of an effort not to complain or to argue, even when it’s something as simple as answering a “how are you” with “tired” or “stressed.” Maybe it will be contagious.

Dublin Bay, IrelandBoy, am I missin’ me some Ireland right now. I don’t miss traveling as often as I did last year, which is a good thing, I think. I often get asked when I’m planning on going overseas again, and I don’t think I am for a while. Not that I wouldn’t love to take a trip next year (or tomorrow, for that matter), it’s just that with so many opportunities everywhere for purposeful travel, I’m not sure I could justify the expense of a massive plane ticket just to visit my favorite cathedrals and pubs and street musicians. To be honest, I can see myself being pulled more and more towards the idea of missions work. Practically, I’m not sure how a person goes about getting started with something like that. And so for right now, I’m just praying about it. (And hey, who knows… maybe I’ll end up on a particularly green island off the coast of England?)

This Grand Canyon trip is coming up more quickly than I expected. I’m not as prepared as I’d like to be — I bought some hiking shoes, and that’s about it. When I go on road trips, I like to do as much research as possible first, so that A) I never have that “where’s the internet when I need it” feeling (people with iPhones, I don’t want to hear it), and B) I can feel confident that I know what my options are and can just relax and play things by ear. I keep meaning to make a list of roadside attractions, possible hotels, detours (painted desert!), and gas stations with free showers along the way. I know I shouldn’t be so obsessive-compulsive about it. I guess that’s why I always like traveling with really laid-back people: good to have somebody to balance my type-A personality.

Can I just say, I am not at all happy about this daylight savings time thing. It feels like midnight when I get off work. I think this is the first year that I’ve been this bothered by the shorter days. As much as I love Fall, this definitely puts a damper on things.

(Does that count as complaining? Already, I’m off on a bad foot…)

listening to: The Swell Season – In These Arms

home invasion

October 7th, 2009 - 

I like almost everything about our house, but I hate that most of our windows are painted shut. This includes the three windows in my bedroom. I think that they’ve been painted shut for a very long time, because vines have managed to grow up through the slots where the ropes used to be (you know the old windows on old houses that used rope pulleys to raise up and down?), and every so often, I have to do some hedge-trimming, only inside the house. This is one of those things that is quite disturbing if dwelt upon for very long. When vines start coming in through one’s windows, slowly growing across the walls and ceilings and furniture (well, they could!), it’s hard to sleep at night without feeling like you might be strangled to death by an ivy vine before morning. Some things which seem so harmless when encompassed by the giant realm that is nature are in fact much more threatening once they’re beneath your own roof.

But the main reason that painted-shut windows make me sad is that one of my favorite things to do is to go to sleep listening to the rain. These days, I only notice the rain if the thunder wakes me up, and I listen very closely for it. It seems unfair, because with our house being as old as it is, the moisture gets in anyway. The other way I can tell that it is raining is that all of our floor mats, and sometimes even my bed, become noticeably damp during weather like this. It isn’t exactly like sleeping on a sponge. But almost.

John Cleese, among other things.

September 9th, 2009 - 

1. Yesterday, Abby reminded me of something brilliant, one of my favorite things in the world: The “German” episode of Fawlty Towers. If you’ve never seen it, I definitely recommend it (YouTube has the entire episode in pieces, but the best third can be seen here). We watched this clip in the “Britain in 20th Century Europe” course I took at Winchester, as a sort of commentary on Britain’s relationship with Germany and the rest of Europe during that period. I remembered thinking that it must only have seemed ridiculously funny in the context of our typical history class, which consisted of an extremely dry, monotone lecture, pre-typed and read out loud to the class, followed by uncomfortable group discussion where I was nearly always lost. A weather bulletin would have been amusing in comparison. But after re-watching, I’m convinced that this is hilarious, even when compared to other hilarious British comedies.

2. Speaking of Abby, did anybody notice she’s a blogger now? Link’s on the right with the rest now, at the very top due to her alphabetical advantage. So let’s all leave her lots of comments.

3. Speaking of links on the right, did I mention that I’m loving my new BlueHost hosting, combined with WordPress blogging? While I sort of miss the 100% creative control over layout, I’m getting to brush up on my CSS skills (I have relied on html-only for far longer than I care to admit), and simple maintenance (such as adding links to the sidebar) is actually painless. No ftp involved. I’m loving it.

4. My latest hobby / obsession is with making quiche. French baking is so fascinating, not only because of the rich flavors, but because it puts such an incredible focus on texture. Hopefully this weekend, I’m going to try playing around with some different flavor combinations (portabella pineapple quiche? No?), but let’s be honest: eventually, I’ll lose interest, as with the other baked goods I’ve obsessed over at some point or another. In other food news, I have been in a salmon mood lately, and I really like this recipe as a light, late-summer quick meal.

Listening to: Jason Mraz – The Dynamo of Volition